034: My Rock Bottom

I share my story about anxiety and depression in this episode. I want you to know this up front in case these topics could be triggering for you.

If you are feeling helpless and aren't sure who to let in, there are people ready to help you. Go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org or call 1-800-273-8255

And starting July 16 2022, you can simply dial 988 on your phone and you'll reach the hotline. ==========================================

In this episode I wanted to focus on moving forward your mental health, so I shared my journey with depression, starting from the year before my wife Kim and I got married.

There was a lot the happened around that time, in a very short period of time. Kim and I had spent the previous year doing a huge remodel, with all the pressure and upheaval that comes with that kind of project. We then moved in, with some work still to be done on the inside. Then we started landscaping our property in early 2020, and of course the project was brought to a screeching halt when the pandemic hit...leaving our whole property torn up.

Then spring brought about the unexpected and sudden death of my dad, who I was estranged from. He died just a couple of days before my cousin passed away after her long battle with cancer. And then my aunt had a life changing medical event happen, which led to my mother moving in with us.

The combination of it all led to my rock bottom., which I describe in detail in the podcast episode.

As you listen to my story, you will notice that some or most of the symptoms I was “manifesting” don’t fall under your typical, widely publicized list of signs to look out for. I wasn’t withdrawn, sleeping a lot, watching lots of TV or anything like that.

My symptoms were more like irritability and agitation.

If anything in this episode resonates with you, or sounds like someone you know, it’s worth noting that depression may look different for you or them. And similarly, the solutions you choose to handle your depression will vary from person to person, because they’re a very personal choice between you and your healthcare professional. 

Now, I’m sharing this with you to say that it's OK to not be OK. It's ok to have hard moments, hard days, hard weeks, even a hard month. But if you keep telling yourself "I'll feel better when" and at the same time telling everyone else that you’re "fine", I encourage you to try something different.

Try letting trusted people in. Try talking to your therapist or counselor. And if you don't have one, find one. The best way I know to do that is to ask your friends and family for recommendations and then research them and interview them. Talk to your doctor. Let people in.

Everyone's rock bottom can look different. Mine was being called a bully by my mom. That was enough. That was it. It was time to get help. Your rock bottom could be hearing yourself in my story.

So if you hear yourself in this story, turn toward what you're trying to avoid AND let people in.

This all brings me a very important question of the week: Who can you let in when you are feeling down?

Think about them this week. Even if you don't need them now, reach out and let them know how special they are to you.

PS: If my story makes you think of someone else, please share this episode with them so they know they are not alone.